3 Ways To Improve Self-esteem

The idea of ​​self-esteem has become problematic for many people. Numerous books and articles speak of self-esteem, as if it were the answer to all our problems. It is said that if we have good self-esteem, things are great. If our self-esteem is not good, things are bad. The problem is that our self-love develops during our first years, and we only live those years once. That’s why so many people ask themselves if there are ways to improve self-esteem if it’s not already strongly established.

The answer is, of course, yes. If we grow up under favorable conditions, our self-love is easy to take root in the early years of life. This gives us special strength and greater opportunities to find well-being and happiness. But if that doesn’t happen,  we still have a chance to fix those roots that aren’t strong enough.

This begs the question: why should we care about improving our self-esteem? This may or may not be obvious. Lack of self-love is the beginning of many problems and increases the risk of developing other problems. When we don’t have good self-esteem, we tend to feel dissatisfied, and it’s hard to find relief for that. Setting and achieving realistic goals becomes a challenge. In short, it can make our lives much more difficult.

In this article, we give the reader three effective strategies to avoid all of the above.

1. Writing Reminders: A Technique to Improve Self-Esteem

We are not aware of much of our own behavior. Usually we can’t say why we think the way we think and why we feel the way we feel. Usually we experience it in one way, and not in any other way, and we don’t know why. All this information, or at least an important part of it, is in our subconscious.

When we don’t love ourselves, our minds don’t notice many positive things about ourselves. Therefore, reminders are a valuable tool in improving our self-esteem.

This technique is simple. We just have to write the best parts of ourselves. What we like about ourselves, what we achieved today, the difficulties we have overcome. We need to be precise about our virtues, abilities, and skills. We need to write down all the good things, and most importantly, we need to look at this list often. This helps our minds to act as an ally, not an enemy.

2. Identify destructive thoughts

When self-love is damaged, a person tends to see the world from a truly bleak perspective. One way or another, we reflect an unhappy feeling into our environment. As a result, we focus more on the negative than the positive.

Unhealthy habits, such as comparing ourselves to others, can also be a problem. Maybe we are scared when we are achieving something important, or we become passive and go with the flow because we have a hard time believing in our own dreams.

Let’s observe ourselves carefully. The goal is to identify the thoughts that make us feel bad. Our gloomy view is not, in fact, because things are bad, but because we interpret them in a gloomy way. Let’s learn to observe ourselves and identify these thoughts. Then, little by little, we can free ourselves from these destructive habits.

3. Five-finger exercise

This is an exercise invented by psychologist José Ignacio Fernández. This can be really helpful in improving your self-esteem. This exercise includes simple steps that elevate our mood when we are down.

• Relax. The first step is to breathe deeply in and out. This will help us relax.
• The first image. Fernández recommends that we reach out and touch our thumb with our index finger. In this position, we can think of a time when we felt loved and protected. For example, the moment of helplessness when someone showed up to take care of us.
• Another image. Next, we need to touch our thumb with our middle finger. Let’s think of a situation where we were successful and achieved something.
• The third image. Let’s touch our thumb anonymously. Let’s remember a time when we did something kind to another person.

• The fourth and final image. Finally, let’s touch our thumbs with our little lilies. Then let’s think of the kind of person we love or have loved.

These exercises are useful when we feel bad and when we lack self-confidence. It is an effective way to find balance in that particular moment and also to improve our self-esteem in the long run. It is important to remember that we can always change and learn to be happier, regardless of circumstances.