6 Signs Of Toxic Parents

What happens if people who are meant to protect you and who are meant to take care of you offend you and make you feel miserable? What traits are typical of toxic parents?

Some parents even go so far as to not only make mistakes but also behave in a way that affects their children’s emotional development. This is not, after all, a matter of the level of parents abandoning or neglecting their children, but sometimes the place of reproach is evident in the way parents deal with their children and exercise their authority.

No one knows from birth how to act as a parent

Parents, of course, are not born with a handbook on parenting in their armpits. We all have to face the first sleepless nights with a baby without knowing exactly how to act or how to get the baby to stop crying. It is normal for parents to be unclear how they should act in each situation or whether they are good parents. The secret to good parenting is affection, understanding, and patience.

Unfortunately, not all parents meet these criteria. Toxic parents do just the opposite and prevent their children from developing healthily. Next, we look at a few examples.

If you are not the best, you do not exist

Some parents demand absolute perfection from their children. Toxic parents are extremely critical of their children and demand constant perfection from them in all things. They are so demanding that they make their children feel humiliated, anxious, and disappointed.

This type of activity of parents makes children very restless and tense. In addition to this, the disadvantage of the emotional level they feel is even greater if their parents constantly remind them of their mistakes. Extreme pressures on children prevent them from fully enjoying their own achievements.  

These types of parents often plan their children’s careers well in advance. It’s their way of controlling their children. They force their children to live according to the formula they designed for them and do not allow them to make their own decisions or follow their own paths.

With me or not with anyone

Toxic parents are usually overprotective towards their children. They don’t let their kids go to their friends ’birthday parties or movies because they’re afraid something bad might happen.

Toxic parents fear being left alone and do not encourage their children to become independent. By this we do not mean by any means that it would be better for parents to let their children do whatever they amused. By this we only mean that too much control is as harmful as too much freedom.

Children must be given the freedom to act more independently as they grow older. It is important to let children do things outside their home. Dominant parents blame their children for wanting to spend time with other people. The situation  worsens especially in adolescence as children begin to make new friends and other connections in their lives.

I won’t let you be better than me

While it may be difficult to comprehend, some parents compete with their children. For example, it is common to see competition between mothers and daughters for their physical appearance or fathers who may despise their sons for being better than their fathers in sports.

It has usually happened that the dream of these parents has been broken in their childhood or they themselves had a parent who did the same thing to them. Toxic parents are relieving their accumulated frustration with their children. They blame their children for their own accident, which is a rather damaging way to unleash their anger.

Give me what I need

Another example of toxic parents are those who adopt a manipulative attitude either consciously or unconsciously. For example, they tell their children, “no one cares about you like I do” or “don’t go out today because you already know it makes me very nervous and you wouldn’t want me to have a heart attack, do you?”

Parents are experts who notice other people’s weaknesses and shortcomings. They believe they have the power and right to get whatever they want, even at the expense of their own children. Toxic parents take advantage of childhood innocence to get a child to do what they want.

Love me as if I had never offended you

We often emphasize the importance of healthy attachment during the first years of a child’s life. The relationship of affection between the child and his or her parents, as well as the child’s relationship with the other character important in his or her life, lays the foundation for his or her later development.

If parents do not give their children close enough and do not show them that they care or simply do not form an emotional bond with them, the consequences can be very serious. Family dynamics should be based on love and trust. If this is not the case, the child’s future relationships may suffer because of this.

Attitudes of toxic parents

We cannot forget that children learn by imitation. Because of this, they mimic all the habits, habits, and behaviors of adults. You need to be careful about what kind of verbal and behavioral example you set for your children, as children will embrace them as is. If this has already happened, it will be difficult to change course. Parents are role models for their children in both good and evil. Unfortunately, children also take a model from their toxic parents.

Similarly, parents have the power to teach their children healthy ways – to nourish them well, to allow them to exercise frequently, to avoid alcohol and other stimulants, to get enough sleep, and so on. If these habits are not deeply rooted from a young age and if children have already gotten used to other routines, the task is even more difficult.

Each family has its own challenges, but they give no reason to offend children. Toxic parents do not seem to be aware that they are raising their children incorrectly or causing them serious and potentially permanent harm, so acknowledging this is a first step in the right direction.