Indifference And Neglect: How They Hurt A Child
As children, we begin to build the foundations of our lives. Every child needs love, acceptance, and care. Unfortunately, sometimes the environment does not accept these simple demands, with which the foundation of life begins to weaken.
Many life experiences can be difficult for a child and their understanding is not enough for them. Children do not have intellectual skills or mental tools. Indifference and neglect cause deep suffering to the child. They leave extremely deep wounds that are not easy to heal.
Many people do not even accurately remember the emotions experienced in childhood. They may find their adult lives problematic, but are unable to find the source of their problems.
The explanation for the difficulties can be found in childhood, the people the child loves the most in the world. Next, we talk about the five signs we can notice in those people who, in one way or another, have become abandoned as children.
1. Indifference
Indifference is probably one of the features of your personality if you have not been cared for enough as a child. It is, in one way or another, the answer to carelessness. In childhood, this leads to feelings of rejection and worthlessness.
As an adult, indifference is expressed as apathy. It can be directed at people or your whole life. In that case, you have no enthusiasm or passion for anything.
This is because you did not learn to restrain your emotions at an early age because your environment did not appreciate them.
2. Fighting the help of others
As children, we need a lot from the people around us. Support, guidance and comfort are all equally necessary. If a child does not have such support, he or she will learn not to expect anything from others. As a result, he may ” become independent at any cost.”
In this case, the child becomes a person who does not trust what others could offer him. He tries to do everything alone. She protects herself from feelings she doesn’t want to experience.
Why? The child does not want to need someone and be disappointed badly. Sometimes the opposite also happens: a person ends up asking for help in everything, even things he could well do himself.
3. Feeling of emptiness
People who have experienced indifference in childhood often feel something is missing. There was a place in life for loved ones who never filled it. So they have a hole in their heart.
This feeling of emptiness becomes the norm. Nothing is good enough, nothing is ever enough. Nothing “fills” them. No man, no one.
Sometimes the feeling that something is missing manifests itself in constant criticism of oneself and the environment.
4. Perfectionism
The lack of love and attention in childhood affects the way a person sees himself. Even unconsciously, a person begins to think that his actions are not valuable enough. He may become extremely judgmental and intolerable.
On the eve of adulthood, it is very common for a neglected child to become extremely perfectionist. The pursuit of perfection is a response to the unconscious suspicion that deeds are never enough. In the end, such people are still children who want to be valued.
5. Hypersensitivity to rejection
When a child feels ignored, he or she feels worthless. He thinks his life is worthless and when life has no meaning, he unconsciously ends up thinking of himself as “something wrong”. This feeling stems from inadequacy.
Childhood characterized by indifference can lead to hypersensitivity to criticism. All signs of rejection are beginning to be interpreted as threats.
In this case, the person only hears how “something is wrong” with him, just as they have heard in their childhood. This can be very painful.
From a neurological and psychological perspective, childhood is a very critical time. However, that does not mean that the bad experiences of childhood are irreparable.
The bad experiences of childhood leave traces that remain in us throughout our lives. However, a person can free himself from this burden if he is only willing to work hard and receive professional help.
