Identifying The Attacker
Be that as it may, we all get hurt at times in our relationships. Misunderstanding, an unusual situation, or a lack of tolerance can lead to a collision. But there are also situations where aggression and violence go too far, and then we need to get further away from the people who are causing us suffering.
The term “attacking identification” was coined by Sandor Ferenczi and coined by Anna Freud – they are two psychoanalysts with slightly different perspectives. This is a paradoxical behavior that can only be explained as a defense mechanism involving the victim of an attack or damage behaving like an attacker.
Even in situations of horror and isolation, the victim’s attitude towards the attacker can become pathological and as a result feelings of admiration, gratitude, and identification may develop.
A typical example of identification with an attacker is the behavior of some Jews in Nazi concentration camps. Some of the prisoners behaved in the same way as their guards and beat other prisoners. This behavior was not just a way to “please” their attackers.
When you admire or love people who hurt you
A classic example of attacking identification with an attacker is Stockholm Syndrome. This term is used when victims of kidnapping form an emotional bond with their own captor.
This syndrome could also be called a horrible or traumatic bond. It is used to describe victims who have positive feelings and behaviors towards their perpetrators, and negative attitudes toward things that are against the mindset and intentions of their perpetrators.
When someone is at the mercy of an attacker, he experiences horror and anxiety, leading to a childlike recession. This decline is perceived as a kind of gratitude to the attacker, who he begins to see as a person who takes care of his basic needs. In this way, man returns to be like a child.
The abuser feeds them, lets them go to the toilet, etc. In response to this “generosity,” the victim feels nothing but gratitude to his attacker because this allows him to stay alive. The victim forgets that his attacker is actually the source of his suffering.
The usual course of action for an attacker is to intimidate the victim when he or she feels in a state of defenselessness. This means that the attacker will beat the victim when he or she is vulnerable. At this point, the victim is horrified and defending himself against the injury is difficult. This pattern of behavior occurs because the victim believes that if he or she submits, he or she will have a better chance of surviving.
Emotional level of affection
The emotional attachment of victims of intimidation, abuse and assault to their abuser is really just a coping strategy. Understanding the relationship between the victim and the abuser also makes it easier to understand why the victim supports, defends, or even loves their own abuser.
The truth is that this type of situation is not just caused by kidnapping. This defense mechanism can also be seen in a number of common situations, such as violent interpersonal relationships.
Many of the victims of these relationships refuse to prosecute and some even pay bail from their boyfriends or husbands even though they were physically assaulted by them. They even fight with the police when they try to save them from violent aggression.
Some circumstances promote attacker identification, such as domestic violence or harassment in the workplace. This mechanism is also activated in occasional acts of violence, such as assault or rape. In any case, life can become completely unsustainable if this is not overcome.
All the traumas that come from the act of violence leave a deep imprint on the heart. For this reason, identification with the attacker is activated, even when the victim and the attacker do not already share an existing close relationship.
In this case, the victim fears the abuser so much that he ends up imitating him to compensate for the fear that the possibility of confrontation causes him. One example of this is when a victim of gun violence buys a gun to defend himself. His attitude allows the use of the kind of violence he himself fell victim to.
From victim to assailant
Victims of violence and abuse are at risk of becoming perpetrators themselves. This happens because the victim struggles to understand what happened but is unable to. It is as if his personality is diluted by all the confusion, which in turn creates an empty space. This is an empty space that gradually fills with the characteristics of his attacker, and eventually changes to identify with the attacker.
It is important to clarify that this whole process is developing subconsciously. It’s like an actor who immerses himself in his own role character so deeply that he transforms himself into that character. The victim believes that if he acknowledges and embraces the special characteristics of his attacker, he will be able to neutralize them. Victims become obsessed with this goal, so they try again and again, and in the twists and turns of this dynamic, they eventually resemble their own attacker.
This initiates a chain reaction that leads to a violent and relentless spiral of violence. The supervisor is violent towards his employee, the employee is violent towards his wife, the wife is violent towards the children, the children are violent towards the dog, and finally the dog bites the supervisor.
Or, one section of the population is violent towards another, who then, as a result, feels that they have the right to return this violence to their attackers. They simply think they are responding to it, but deep down they imitate what they have repelled.
Unfortunately, a large proportion of people who experience traumatic situations and are unable to overcome them or do not seek help will potentially repeat that trauma in other people. For some, this may seem like an obvious sanction, for others it may seem completely contradictory, but this is just the real thing.
