A Letter About The Part Of Myself That No One Knows

Ten percent of me you will never know. You can try and try, try every possible means, but you will never see it. There are at least 5% of me inside that I don’t even feel or will feel myself. This is normal and should not be a concern.

Even if you don’t know this part of me, that doesn’t mean it’s somehow a bad or perverted part of me or that it lacks emotions or empathy. This part is not dark, toxic or ugly. This part will never seem logical or rational to you; you will never come into force to predict its operation.

Forgive me if I laugh when you try to get to this part of me and you get frustrated. Understand that you are like a little child reaching out for a wrapped gift on the top shelf and not reaching for it at all… Or someone trying to connect pieces of a puzzle desperately, reconciling different pieces together, unaware that that most important piece has fallen to the floor – the puzzle never will come together without this important return.

Yes, you certainly understand what I mean. You are afraid of this secret part of me because you are afraid it will cause you pain. Because I know this part of myself, I can reassure you and say you have nothing to fear. I want you to take that risk in my relationship and I promise you I won’t hurt you. I can’t force you to do anything, but I can express my desire to accept you into my life because I believe that if you take that risk, you will feel the best of me. Together we can achieve anything.

This part of me is unpredictable and while it has the power to destroy, it is one of the main reasons why I am who I am. This is the part that surprises you and makes me different from all other people. This part makes me unique and valuable. I’m like the red-striped Vallu of children’s books you’re looking for on the colorful pages.

I promise to help you live with this mystical part of me, even if you may not know it right away kuitenkin However, it is certain that no one knows this part right from birth and you are so dear to me when you want to get to know me completely.

You may have opinions about how I live my life, but give me the freedom to choose how I want to live it. Give me the freedom to make my own decisions, even if you don’t agree with them. Let me choose who I socialize with, who I make friends with. Let yourself love me as I am and why I still come, and don’t try to put pressure on me in your mold.

Don’t try to force me to be something I am not. I can’t fit in the molds because there is no mold I would fit into. You have to build that mold yourself, and even then there will be parts I don’t sit on.

Don’t ask yourself if I’m normal or not. I can tell the answer to you myself: I am not normal, I do not fit in the mold that defines a normal person. I am completely myself.

Don’t believe or think it’s your right to find and unlock that 10% of me, because if you try to get into it by force, it just hides and stays silent. And that 5%, that small, minimal part of myself, even if you can’t even imagine it, is a secret, invisible part of me. It is futile to spend time searching for and understanding it; don’t waste your time looking for what neither of us feel. I strongly believe that what we have imagined together is more valuable than anything else in the world.

So somehow I ask you to please me, to conform to my request, to understand that even I myself do not know all the parts of myself. And that together, together and without haste, we can begin to ask each other questions. Imagine the last thing that falls from that high shelf into your hands is this letter that I wrote to you with love.