Children Of Mentally Immature Parents

Children with mentally immature parents suffer from deep scars. Many children end up taking on the responsibilities of adults and have to grow up too fast. The combination of unworthy parenting as well as indifference to this delicate bond destroys self-esteem and blurs the boundaries of childhood and adulthood.

We know that no one can choose their parents. When we are adults, we have the right to choose what kind of relationship we create with our parents, but a child cannot do that. Birth is like falling from the sky. Some of us descend into the arms of brilliant and caring parents who raise us safe, mature, and with the dignity required by the situation.

On the other hand, some of us have worse happiness, and we descend into the embrace of immature parents. They decide the foundation of our personality, whether we like it or not. Experts in child psychology as well as family dynamics know that two things to consider usually happen in these cases.

Parents with a clearly more immature and unworthy personality sometimes raise children who are equally immature or tyrannical. Another option is for children to take on an adult role that parents refuse to fill. This is how some little ones end up taking care of their younger siblings, doing housework or making decisions that their peers shouldn’t yet think about.

This last fact, as miraculous as it sounds, does not make a child bolder, more mature, or more responsible in a healthy way. The end result is one more child who lost his childhood. Let’s delve deeper into this topic…

Mentally immature parents mean a short childhood

One thing we all certainly agree on is that having children doesn’t make us parents. Healthy and purposeful fatherhood and motherhood are about being present and showing genuine, strong and emotional caring. A child should be a part of life, not just a broken heart that is full of fear, insecurity and low self-esteem.

In addition to food and clothing, every child needs mental accessibility. They need to feel connected to more mature people so they can understand the world as well as themselves. If this fails, everything will collapse. A mentally immature parent fails to respond to their child’s feelings. A mother who only takes care of herself denies her child’s mental needs.

On the other hand, it is important to keep in mind that dynamics like this are much more complex than they might seem at first. It makes it much easier to be able to distinguish four different types of mentally immature mothers as well as fathers.

Maternal immaturity

The first type refers to mothers and fathers whose behavior is variable as well as unpredictable. They are mentally unstable parents. They make promises they don’t keep. They may well be present to their children one day, and the next the children seem to be just distractions.

• Impulsive parents act without thinking. They make plans without thinking about the consequences, jumping from one thoughtless mistake to another without thinking about their actions.
• Passive parenting is one of the most obvious examples of immaturity. These parents are not involved in things, they are physically present but mentally absent, and their educational style is very “careless”.

• Last are the contemptuous parents who make their children feel as if they are just on the road. For them, raising children is something they don’t want to be involved in.

These four types shape a childhood that is short, wounded, and unappreciated. Children who grow up in this way feel feelings of rejection, loneliness, frustration, and anger.

Children play with adults: wounds that need treatment

We mentioned at the beginning that children who grow up in the role of an adult do not always see themselves as stronger, more mature, or happier. If an 8-, 10-, or even 15-year-old child is left with the responsibility of caring for themselves or their younger siblings, or the responsibility for decisions that parents should make, scars form that can be the start of many bigger problems.

The psychological consequences in these cases are as varied as they are complex. Mental loneliness, problems maintaining stable relationships, feelings of guilt, mental limitations, containment of anger, absurd thoughts, anxiety, and excessive self-reliance are all possible outcomes.

Overcoming the wounds caused by a lost childhood as well as immature parents is not easy, but neither is it impossible. Cognitive therapy is usually helpful, as is the acceptance of wounds resulting from rejection and neglect. Later comes the moment when you have to rub the reconciliation with yourself. At this point, we give ourselves the right to be angry as well as frustrated about our stolen childhood. Angry because we were forced to grow up too early, or because we were left alone too soon.

We may have lost our childhood, but a beautiful and free life lies ahead. A life that gives us what we have always hoped for and what we really deserve. We make sure that the immaturity of our parents does not prevent us from living a joyful present, as well as a future like the one we never had in the past.