Choose Trusted People Carefully
When there is a wish or dream within you , choose carefully who you trust. Choose the people you trust carefully. Carefully consider to whom you share your heart’s longings. There are a large number of people who just want to suppress your dreams. There are those who want to get you out of the way and those who criticize your accomplishments afterwards.
We all know that it is not always easy to identify people who are worthy of our trust. In addition to this, we often open up by sharing our own ideas in their entirety with the people around us. We may open up to our parents or siblings and discuss with them our desire to achieve a certain goal, embark on a particular journey, or take a risk in a relationship…
All too soon, however, the iva of skepticism raises its ugly head, as does the sarcastic gaze, as well as the words that steal the joy of our dreams. “Get rid of that idea. It’s ridiculous, ”I say this because I love you. What you are planning is beyond your reach, be objective and forget the whole thing ”…
We often have to deal with comments like this. There are also those who are silent, making us believe that they are our support and that we can count on their help, acceptance, and friendship. However, at the most unexpected moment, they deceive us and produce tremendous disappointment for us .
Why do we do that? Why do we put ourselves in these situations and share our longing with the wrong people?
It’s not our fault: people are programmed to trust other people.
We’ve all heard of the classic situation where a person, when they want a promotion, talks about it to a co-worker during a coffee hour. By lunchtime, the entire department will know about his plan. Should this employee have been more considerate? Would he have had to be a little more cautious and assume that a coworker wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut?
The answer is both “no” and “yes”. The answer is “no,” because according to neuroscience, we are programmed to trust our neighbors. A study published in the journal Neuroscience explains this by showing how trust is essential to our social lives. Living would be too stressful and traumatic for us if we had to constantly be afraid of being betrayed.
On the other hand, the answer is “yes” because we sometimes lack caution. In other words, we are not always very adept at applying the three rules that define the dynamics of trust and the identification of people worthy of our trust. Here’s how to apply them:
To trust or not to trust – that’s the dilemma
When in doubt, use judgment. Usually, however, it happens to us that our enthusiasm for a new project makes us open up too much. We go so far as to share the wrong information with the wrong parties. It is recommended that you carefully consider and apply these simple principles:
Reliability is undoubtedly the cornerstone of human relationships. Trust your hopes and dreams to those who have shown in previous situations that they are worthy of your trust. These are people who don’t criticize you and accept you unconditionally as you are.
A real emotional connection. This second dimension makes us trust the people with whom we have a real, lasting emotional relationship. It can be about friends, family or our partner.
The last principle relates to empathy on an emotional and cognitive level. It is not enough just to spread our hopes, dreams and happiness around. We also want these people to be able to understand the way we think and the perspective from which we look at things.
It is, of course, possible that even if we applied these principles, we might be disappointed with that trusted person. It can be our lifelong friend who betrays us. Or it may be a relative who behaves in a very unexpected way… It helps us immensely if we know how to deal with such situations.
Choose the people you trust carefully – people will disappoint
People can disappoint us, but we sometimes do the same for them. We are all capable, if we try properly, to convey at the same time a message of completeness and erroneousness. Over time, therefore, we develop a certain degree of caution, good discretionary practices, and limited but wise intimacy with the people who matter most to us. Trusted people have traveled with us at all stages of our lives, both on stormy and calm days.
The wisdom of understanding who we should not or should not trust in certain things develops over time and experience. Gradually, we realize that there are those who just want to cut off other people’s wings. There are people who have the ability to destroy other people’s dreams to prove that no one is as important as themselves. It is a blasphemy for these people that we dare to be freer, more capable, and happier than they themselves are.
Over time, we also learn that subtlety and caution with our words is wisdom. We also learn to fight for our dreams quietly and purposefully. At the same time, we are also able to leave other people’s approval, possible criticism, and comments to their own worth when they are in danger of becoming an obstacle to the path we have chosen.
So let’s learn carefully the people entrusted with the selection – the ones we trust in our dreams. Let us not forget that our own self-confidence is ultimately the resource that brings us closer to our highest goals and our boldest dreams.
