Dare To Be Born

Birth is not a moment but a process. It happens several times in a lifetime. Being born to a human being means separating from one another forever. It breaks the connection that connects people. It enters an unknown world and embraces the identity of the individual and, with it, the loneliness that defines us.

During life,  we often find ourselves in situations reminiscent of the moment of birth. Big breaks, big goodbyes and meeting new beginnings…

These situations are both miraculous and frightening. They are real challenges that test everything we are. Life itself most often brings us to such experiences, but birth can also be a voluntary process. It can be a decision we make when we have evidence that the great circle has closed and it is time to start a new one.

Birth trauma

There has been a lot of talk about birth trauma. At the same time, little is known about it. Suppose the fetus has incredibly painful experiences at birth. Opening the way to enter the world through a difficult and narrow road is a dramatic moment. That’s when life is all about.

Crying and crying indicate that we are outside. Now we are an individual, forever alone  after we have enjoyed the honeyed symbiosis with our mother. There are a lot of threats in the world we arrive at, and the outdoors is not as warm.

In this new phase of life, we are cold and hungry. They are new sensations. In the womb we had never experienced them. Before, we didn’t have to ask for anything like we do now. It may be that our call is answered, or maybe not. It is possible that our needs will be understood, but it can also be the other way around. We step out of complete safety into uncertainty.

You can be born again and again

We will never again be as defenseless as when we were first born. But we  must be reborn constantly. The feeling of trauma that follows these processes is also repeated. It is the inevitable cycle of life.

We experience again and again that we have two opposing forces. One of them tells us that there is a big world behind the boundaries we know. It is a force that invites us on a journey of exploration and taking risks. On the other hand, one of the forces is pulling us towards all that we already know. It emphasizes the benefits of staying put.

Often we have no options. We plunge into a new phase and a new world without being asked our opinions. For example, the death of a loved one is not something we could accept or reject. It just happens, and it takes us back to a threatening dimension where we have to reinvent ourselves. The same happens with any major loss or major change that affects our familiar environment.

Quantum jump…

Sometimes we are personally responsible for guiding ourselves to decide when is the moment and place when we will be born again. This will happen when we finally accept that we need to complete the process of independence with all its miracles and limitations.

This is the case, for example, when we leave our parents’ home. Even when we decide to end a relationship that promised to be the answer to our loneliness, it is the same thing. The same happens when we recognize that the environment is too heavy for us, and it is necessary to start over in a new, unfamiliar environment, possibly thousands of miles from our home. The same thing happens when we leave behind an addiction or give up on a dream we find to be a mistake.

It is impossible to be reborn without trauma. These processes do not take place serenely and in a controlled manner. On the contrary, they are costly decisions. They are paid for with tears, alienation, doubts, and energy consumption. However, even the first time we are born at the end of a narrow tunnel, a whole new world awaits us to explore.

Inside each of us is an adventurous explorer who is able to set off a thousand times in search of new worlds. There’s also a scared child who yells at his mother every time he opens his front door to step out of it. The decision to be born takes time and energy. But outdoors, all that we can be is waiting for us.