Don’t Make Too Many Demands On Yourself

Every day, your motivations and passions are more or less visible. While motivation is based on demands, your passion drives you to “go further”. However, problems arise when you cross boundaries and obsessively try to perfection. So, instead of appreciating what you do , you end up telling yourself and everyone else what you haven’t been able to do.

Psychologist Marcelo Rodriguez Ceberio calls this a hyperv claim. In fact, it’s a real way to devalue your accomplishments. So be careful and don’t place too many demands on yourself.

Motivate yourself with demands and criticism

You need to be motivated to fulfill any commitment. Motivation means you feel encouraged and willing to take action and accomplish everything you plan to do. However, for this process to succeed, you need to limit your demands on yourself.

Requirements encourage and value your efforts to some degree. Beyond these limits, however, it becomes, in Ceberion’s words, a hyperv claim. You may now be wondering what these boundaries really are. In other words, at what point do you exceed your potential?

Ceberio defines hypervetility as an effort to exceed your personal potential. It is essential that everything goes perfectly. In reality, life is both uphill and downhill. However, it is difficult for a hypervasive person to tolerate a margin of error. Even one mistake is unacceptable and leads to guilt and suffering.

Healthy standard and hypervarity

• A healthy level of demand seeks opportunities and personal resources. Then it forces you to apply them to situations and experiences that need a solution.
• However, the hypervalue is not just looking for personal resources. It tries to create opportunities that exceed your abilities.

People with a healthy level of demands on themselves know their limits, utilize their resources, and value them. Hypervacitors are again like machines. They do not understand their limits and exceed their abilities. When they then fail to achieve their desired goals, they put pressure on themselves until they feel completely useless.

The hypervacitor is a perfect example of whether a glass is seen as half empty or half full. As long as the glass is full, these people will stay in balance. If it’s half full / empty, they start underestimating themselves.

For example, a normal person would be completely happy to get a B result from an experiment. However, the hypervacitor becomes obsessed if he does not get A. In fact, even if a hypervacitor got an A-, he would stress that he didn’t get an A or an A +, asking himself why he failed.

A person with a healthy level of standards enjoys their performance and strives to take advantage of the experience in the future. The hypervisor, on the other hand, is not happy, not even if he gets an A +. He would find something more unfortunate or healing.

Hypervisors feel guilty

Hypervasives always point out what is missing. They are constantly indebted to themselves. This makes them feel guilty and anxious. That is why they place too many unreasonable demands on themselves and feel guilty, as well as complain a lot.

People of a healthy standard do not feel guilty. They only feel the necessary emotions because they are able to accept the margin of error. In addition, they are aware that this margin allows them to learn.

• Hypervisors do not allow themselves to make mistakes.  There is no margin of error for them. For this reason, they experience insurmountable unpleasant emotions manifested in guilt, aggression, and other suffering. The hypervacitor is rigid and unambiguous.
• On the other hand, people of a healthy standard are more flexible. They are less prone to dogmatism. In addition, they allow themselves to make mistakes in the name of experience.

Differences between hypervaults and healthy requirement levels

These attitudes have consequences not only for the person, but also for his environment.

Hypervaults, both by themselves and by others, are common in undervalued people. It is common for hypervasive people to become critical and they belittle certain people around them. They don’t appreciate what has been done because they are firmly attached to what has not been done.

Here is a list of human characteristics and mediators at a healthy and hypervariable level.

Too many requirements = undervaluation

People who underestimate themselves work hard to get recognition. In fact, many of them become excellent students. This is because, because of their low self-esteem, they place excessive demands on themselves in their efforts to overcome their feelings of worthlessness. In reality, they are trying to attract attention with the secret expectation that they will be valued.

Many of them may have felt left out in childhood. Maybe their parents were busy at work or focused on their marriage or other children, for example. For this reason, the child learned to be very demanding when trying to appreciate his parents.

However, we must mention that not all exemplary students demand too much of themselves and underestimate themselves. Hyperresponsiveness is a resource that a person with low self-esteem uses to elevate himself. Sooner or later, a self-fulfilling prophecy falls on them.

Too many requirements: other problems with the hypervalue

Hypervasives can sometimes come to an end. They have a low tolerance for frustration. When they fail to achieve their impossible goals, they deeply feel like they have failed. No one can stop them from feeling that way.

In addition, they have always tried to place themselves above others. This makes it difficult for them to cope with the discomfort of frustration. They feel alone, even though they have built that loneliness themselves.

They also experience the feelings of the Almighty. This increases their hypervasive behavior. This combination is fatal because it makes them become even more perfectionists and thus more susceptible to feeling that something is missing.

The higher the level of hypervasity a person has, the greater the systematization there is in his life and environment. Hypervators become critical, authoritarian, and negative about themselves and their environment. They never give any positive meaning to their own or others ’achievements. Nor do they get any joy from achieving the goal.

Over time, living with people like this becomes unbearable. They are context dependent but fall into a trap so that they never feel satisfied. As a result, other people tend to distance themselves from them and they are left more and more alone.