Everyday Superpower: Active Listening
Do you want the ability to better understand the people around you? Do you want your friends and family to feel that they can identify with you more and better? Do you want to be more likely to get what you want?
After all, not many people know exactly what active listening is, and even less often, they also know how to use it to their advantage in practice. It is an extremely important tool as it helps you to identify with others, resolve conflict situations, understand emotions and opinions of others, etc.
If we stick to its scientific or official definition, then active listening is “a way to take a closer and deeper look at the words (and gestures) that others use, giving you a deeper understanding of how others perceive things and allow you to collaborate with them.”
The three most important features of active listening:
1. It takes effort on your part.
This is the way to make the speaker feel comfortable, understood, and free to say whatever they want to express. When you do this, they will be able to focus on their emotions rather than their words. But of course it’s hard at first because we’re not used to it.
In its simplicity, to listen actively, try to stay aware of what the other person is saying, and stop focusing on what you want to say or how you are going to respond. Your turn will come on time.
2. It’s not about pretending to listen … It’s about actually doing so!
It’s of no use to you to wear the best “My attention is focused” look – while a million things are recklessly tossed between your ears: from the shopping list to the stunning party of the following weekend, to what you need to study, or how you’re going to pay the bills. There are two parts to Active Listening, one is listening and the other is attitude.
So listen to the other person and don’t just pretend to do so, try to understand their words, and the ultimate thought they are trying to convey… Immerse yourself in the conversation deeper than the surface.
3. Listening to gather information.
Maybe at first it’s a little hard to stay focused on someone who speaks non-stop, maybe because the topic is one you’re not interested in at all. But despite this, you can get something out of it.
This technique can be used for both good and evil; so be very careful in this regard. The idea is to gather information so that you can later sincerely help that person, not so that you can manipulate him.
Active listening is a superpower that is in the possession of each of us, but must be brought to life consciously. It creates good feelings on the other side of the conversation and most of all, it strengthens our bond with the people we love. Active listening builds and strengthens trust, a sense of security and intimacy .
You can use it to resolve a dispute, to mediate in a problem between two friends, to get to know your family and friends better, to be someone who is worthy of trust, and at the same time to create a basis for you to develop into the most excellent conversationalist.
But wait! If we are now talking about listening, then when does speaking enter the patterns? In its simplicity, we can then turn all the information we gather by listening into conversation, good advice, encouraging words… You will be the best friend, co-worker, parent, child, or sibling that anyone has ever had! Either way are you convinced that you can develop a superpower for yourself?
Let’s be a little different from the others and start engaging in active listening. Let’s put aside that “I myself” that dominates so many of our current conversations, and try to pay more attention to what others are actually saying and meaning.
And remember: we have two ears and only one mouth … So we should talk half less than we listen (or listen twice as much as we talk)!
