Family Beliefs That Make You Unhappy

You may not be aware of it, but some family beliefs may limit you. They are like an invisible sack you have to carry on your back. They consist of silent commands and messages that have been instilled in your mind since childhood. They prevent you from growing. However, removing them from your mind is not easy as they are rooted in the depths of your psychological being.

Albert Ellis, a well-known psychotherapist and founder of rational-emotional behavior therapy, founded his approach to eliminating such negative thoughts. Your mental well-being depends largely on your ability to remove yourself from all nonsense and limiting thoughts. But the way you interpret reality may be based on other people’s sentences you’ve been exposed to over the years.

You have to make a change. This is because other people have changed you to what you believe you are now. These are voices from yesterday that still have way too much power over you. For this reason, it is time to wipe them out for the sake of your health and well-being.

Family beliefs that limit you

Much of what you say, decide, do (and don’t do) is the result of your thoughts. You may think that when you make decisions and process information, you do it spontaneously and freely. That “you” control and organize everything in your life. However, this is not the case. In fact, much of your thoughts are based on beliefs that you have not critically filtered.

It’s not just family beliefs that limit you. Society, friends and the environment form your opinions, views and perceptions. This is perfectly normal. The most important thing, however, is that you will be able to detect such thoughts (beliefs).

The University of Osnabrück, Germany, did a study that shows something very important in this regard. According to the study, our ways of thinking are belief systems that we consider to be the truth. One way to disable these restrictive models is the meta-awareness process.

You can do this by finding out what family beliefs might limit you.

1. “You’re not good at it, no one in the family is. Better not even try. ”

If your mind were like a fertile land, certain family beliefs would be like weeds that should be removed. Unfortunately, it is very common for parents, grandparents, uncles, and other relatives to stamp children early. “Petter is as useless in mathematics as his father.”  “Martha is just like her sister, not good at sports.”

Comparing and annulling children simply because they did not appear to be particularly qualified at some point in time is far too common a mistake. Then as an adult, they might still assume that it’s better not to even try certain things because someone once said they wouldn’t be good.

2. “Don’t trust others.”

Parents often pass on their own distrusts to their children. Fears and prejudices tend to be passed down from one generation to the next. One of the most common of these hereditary beliefs is a reluctance to trust others. This is because (according to your parents) at some point everyone will always let you down.

3. “Family is always a priority.”

The family is, of course, an important pillar in everyone’s life. However, this should not be taken for granted. There are circumstances that justify breaking ties with the family. These may be due to mental health reasons, for example.

Sometimes your beliefs make you assume that even if you are mistreated by certain family members, it is your duty to put up with it.

4. “No one will ever love you.”

“No one will ever love you as you are.” “Look at yourself in the mirror, if you don’t start caring more about your appearance, no one will ever like you.”  There are many people with such a distorted self-image. This is because of all the negative messages they received in their childhood and youth.

Sometimes the way you experience yourself is mediated by family beliefs. It’s time to turn them off.

5. “Life is hard, be content with what you have been given.”

It is true that all life is not about dancing with roses. It is a journey full of unexpected events. However, don’t let them get you to give up until you’ve even started. Also, it’s never a good idea to just assume that you shouldn’t even try certain things and you should just settle for what you have. This is of no help in personal growth.

The University of California conducted a study of unreasonable or irrational beliefs. It stated that some ideas we assume and take for granted without thinking or reflecting on them. Moreover, to avoid cognitive dissonance, we do not even admit to ourselves that these ideas may be contradictory.

This explains why family beliefs often lead you to stay in your comfort zone. Because challenging what you’ve been told requires courage and meeting many mental health plans. However, it is something that needs to be done.

6. “You’re not talented, so don’t dream of the impossible.”

Don’t dream, lift your head out of the clouds and stop building cloud castles. You’re not talented, so don’t be ridiculous. You need to look for practical things you can do.

The wings of many people are cut at a very early age. This is because they were told that their dream was hopeless. There is little more harmful than destroying a child’s dreams. If you believe that your dreams and wishes can never come true, your life will become far too gray.

7. “Stop complaining, you have to be strong in this life.”

“Don’t cry, stop complaining, don’t look so miserable… Life is hard. You just have to endure it! ” . Such family beliefs that you have heard as a child can have serious consequences.

The obligation to always be strong and to be able to do everything is the basis of psychological suffering. Never forget that you have the right to be vulnerable, complain, cry, and feel hurt if you have been hurt. Also, make sure you eliminate all types of harmful thoughts in your mind and you will find happiness.