Forgive Yourself, Don’t Worry About Anything Else

Forgive yourself. Be brave enough to be gentle to yourself. Don’t criticize yourself, blame yourself, think about what could have happened if you had acted differently… Why do you treat yourself so badly?

Do you really think it’s helpful when you treat yourself that way? Do you think punishing yourself is the right way to correct your mistake? A mistake is just the wrong way to do something, no reason for the person who made the mistake to collapse. Forgive yourself.

There is no need to hate yourself, shout at yourself, or attach to yourself every bad trait you come up with… Whatever you did wrong, it is not suddenly a big part of your identity. How can you completely reduce yourself to one mistake? Why are you covering up your strengths, virtues, and positive qualities? Forgive yourself.

I know you didn’t want things to go that way and it wasn’t your intention. But I don’t understand why you hide yourself in a deep cave of self-loathing just because of it. Let me tell you something. I’m not trying to convince you, I just want to give you food for thought. Then you can make a decision.

Making mistakes is human

Making mistakes is human. It is the truth. Mistakes are common, especially if you want to evolve. And everyone else does. Some people do them every day, other people only now and then… We have to make so many choices in life that it is impossible to always make the right choice. And just like William James said, when you have to make a choice and do nothing, it is a choice in itself. And because it’s a choice, you can still make a mistake.

As you can see, you haven’t done anything that everyone else wouldn’t have done. That’s normal rather than the exception, no matter how you think otherwise. The mistake is an invitation to find a new path, a new way of doing things. It’s a trampoline that lets you pop straight into healing. It is not a pit you will fall without ever getting up, forever imprisoned and abandoned. Nor is it a reason to punish yourself or to be yourself a judge, jury, and executioner.

But there are mistakes and then there are mistakes. Remember this. There are mistakes you don’t make on purpose and others that are meant to offend and humiliate other people. They are much more complex and need more special attention, especially if they happen often.

They can be a sign of pride, bitterness, or immaturity of emotion. In any case, if you are not in control of yourself, the best course of action is to visit a professional. But I am not here talking about such mistakes, I am only talking here about the mistakes I mentioned first. Of the kind we all do more often and end up shackling us in place…

Don’t turn yourself into the worst enemy

You may not have understood it yet, but from the moment you made a mistake, you became yourself the worst enemy. The first day you regretted it and thought about how stupid you were. But since then, you have done nothing but infect yourself with toxic words. You have declared war on yourself.

You have achieved the strongest, most ruthless self-criticism… and it made you feel deep self-loathing. But this happened behind the scenes. That’s right, it happened as you went on with your life, when you went from place to place, in the shower, in bed… You started to see yourself as a monster without realizing it yourself. Even if no one else notices it, your inner self has begun to break.

Maybe you leave some clues, for example, you’re more defensive or more closed than usual. And maybe you’ve started to limit your life a little more. You find that you don’t want to do some things, or in some situations you’ve stopped talking to other people. The thing is, that brings the  error has taken over your life completely and confused you.

Doubt, excessive worry, comparison, accusation, and criticism are your best friends now.  It’s almost like you don’t know how to act without them. If they don’t show up, you’re looking for them. And now you are stuck in discomfort.

Forgive yourself and move on

Do you still think you handled your mistake in the best possible way? Do you still think that becoming yourself the worst enemy is the right price to do something wrong? Let me tell you, it’s not. You are much more than a collection of your mistakes.

Forgive yourself. It is the only way to break all the negative thoughts formed so far. It’s the best way to break your shackles and move on. But don’t do it just because you feel you have to or because you’re reading this right now. Do it because you really feel that way.

What has happened has happened. You can’t change it. You can’t travel back in time to change what happened. But you have the courage to correct your mistakes by looking for other options. This doesn’t mean you should ignore it, it means you have the courage to take responsibility for it.

Look in the mirror and make peace with yourself. Ask yourself for forgiveness. And do it from the bottom of your heart. Give yourself another chance. There is nothing that could teach you more than a mistake. But only if you choose it as a teacher and not as a friend, of course.