How Did I Develop Obsessive-compulsive Disorder

While it may sound strange, one day I decided to experience the same symptoms in both my body and brain as one of my patients. His diagnosis was defined as obsessive-compulsive disorder.  This would allow me to know and understand him better. It would also help me step into his boots with even greater precision. It would help me become more empathetic.

In the text below, we review what an individual needs to do to avoid obsessive-compulsive disorder. You might read it with a smile on your face and once or twice a laugh.  The aim of this article is to provide some important key points to avoid developing this type of syndrome.

So what exactly does obsessive-compulsive disorder mean?  Obsessive-compulsive personality is defined as a general formula for worrying about order, perfection, and control in human interaction. Through these, the individual sacrifices his or her flexibility, straightforwardness, and performance.

Aim for these qualities to get a diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder

To become obsessive-compulsive, I had to look for information about what had to change in my personality. Until then, I had suffered from mild anxiety, but not excessively abnormally. Now that I have finally “got to the point,” I will first analyze what characteristics define an individual as obsessive.  So I’m researching books on psychology to learn more about it. My findings are listed below. If I wanted to make progress on obsession, I would have to achieve the following goals:

• Take disproportionate care for details, rules, lists, etc.
• Be such a perfectionist that it is an obstacle to the performance of your duties.
• Pay undue attention to surrendering to your job. Leave interaction with other people as well as all kinds of leisure activities to their own value.
• Be extremely conscientious, punctual and inflexible.
• Be incapable of throwing away used, worthless, and irrelevant items.
• Do not delegate tasks or work with others so that they do not submit to doing things the way you define.
• Embrace yourself and others.
• Become extremely harsh and stubborn.

Plant these seeds if you want to become obsessive-compulsive

I first tried to convince myself that I was perfect and above all other people. This belief would lead me to an unhappy and painful life. However, a moral superiority of a sense of superiority over others would adequately compensate for this.  The position of an exemplary pit tends to help me in this, in fact, tremendously.  Bring that child when you never cause mess and get everyone’s love and admiration. I was used to it from a young age to find out what I had to do to achieve perfection.

I also had to be very careful about the decisions I made. I always had to consider and compare all the different factors and possible consequences with each other so I wouldn’t make the wrong decisions. The only problem was that I had to think long before I made a single decision.  This would lead me to make very few decisions, or to make them at a strange time. However, obsessive-compulsive disorder is built on this foundation.

Routine, guilt and cleanliness

Routines should become a part of every aspect of my life. I found out that I shouldn’t spend a day without them. To make it more convenient, I started collecting the most diverse items in my collections. I didn’t care if it was about stamps, coins, pots, or pieces of paper covered in drawings. I always had tasks to perform and only lost a small chance of losing control. The greatest thing was that perfection was always within my reach.

Guilt is one of those feelings I learned to deal with masterfully. It became so important to me that I did anything to avoid that feeling. When I did something wrong, I thought about it and analyzed it a thousand times to make sure I was right.  Who would not feel guilty when confronted with their honor, devotion, punctuality, ability – and, more generally, their perfection ?

My work was heaven for me, and my home became my own personal hell. A flawless, clean, and clean home has a lower chance of turning into total chaos (it’s something that an obsessive-compulsive person could in no way tolerate). All the material things I owned were clean and perfect. I kept everything I could and didn’t throw anything away.  All the objects looked as if they might still have use sometime in the future.

My friends made me drink myself drunk and do sinful things (which I leave to the reader’s imagination to imagine). I also had a romantic relationship with a woman who was not my official partner. She got pregnant the first time we were careless. That was the beginning of the fate for me. I took so much care of every detail that soon I no longer had time for anything else.  I also started making big mistakes in my daily chores. I knew I couldn’t improvise if I wanted to be completely obsessive.

So I had no choice but to begin to meticulously demonstrate the legitimacy of everything I did. Doubt led me to confirm and increase my control. I asked people if I was behaving in the right way and persuaded them to adopt reassuring behaviors. I constantly counted my keys, checked the locks many times, and pressed the switches three times to make sure the devices were off.  

Impurity, nonsense and medication

I started to think I was becoming unclean. However, the impurity can be washed away and treated in this way. That’s why I started doing so and creating more and more reassurance, cleansing and arranging rituals, one after the other… Because I was unclean, I had no choice but to wash myself time and time again.

A number of impure thoughts began to appear in my mind that I feared and refused to give up. I drove them out with the ritual I created (by washing myself, I fought against those unclean thoughts) or continued the thought process to the next stage, which proved even more absurd than the thought that preceded it. When this thought, in turn, filled me with doubt, I was forced to move on to the next, and the next, and so on.

My mind is like a weather vane: it revolves from one thought to another, even though I only think of the most absurd things. Because my mind always only becomes more absurd, I begin to believe that I can kill someone unless I count things over and over again by a certain amount.

I soon heard that there is medication that could help me fight the tendency to obsessive compulsive symptoms. When the psychiatrist told me about it, I fled right away. If I hadn’t done so, I would have risked running out of my neurosis enchantment. I should have faced the difficulties and random factors of life, accepted its imperfections, given up being a role model, and lived like any mortal.

Closing words…

As you’ve noticed, obsessive-compulsive disorder usually begins slowly, insidiously, and cripplingly. The problem arises when it gets into the lead role  and takes your mind to its occasions through absurd thoughts. Those thoughts will lead you to repetitive patterns of behavior that aim to reduce anxiety only in the short term. At the same time, they will strengthen its survival in the long run.

Now that you have read this fictional story, it may be easier for you to understand the people who suffer from this syndrome. Their lives are really challenging. The purpose of this article is also to help you equip your life with the necessary practices to avoid the same thing happening to you.