Is Returning Home A Step Backwards?

Leaving home is a great moment. The feeling of freedom and independence is one of the most emotional sensations that exists. As we fly out of the nest, a whole new world opens up before us, full of responsibility, events, and unexplored experiences.  Gradually, we learn to tolerate uncertainty, learn from our mistakes, and organize our weeks, months, and seasons better. But what about returning home?

The plans and emotions of our lives require more or less strength depending on our age, personality, and stage of life. If our freedom comes from studying far from home, the sense of independence and freedom will, of course, become stronger and more important. When it comes to commitment to work and responsibility for paying rent, we will appreciate systematicity as well as day-to-day responsibilities.

However, if at some point all our plans go to a knot and we find ourselves in a situation where moving back to live with our parents is necessary, will returning home be easy? How do we go back to something we have already left?

Child: is a return home a return to the unknown?

When you return home, the most important thing is to keep in mind the importance of empathy. Especially since this new housing arrangement can become complicated.

Once you get used to your own routines away under the watchful eye of your parents, the way you used to understand the world and identify with it will change. When you return home, you should consider not only your own needs but also the factors that make you feel uncomfortable or guilty. It is necessary to take a moment to put yourself in the shoes of your parents so that you can achieve a balanced coexistence.

When we fly out of the nest, we are not the only ones who change. Yes, our routines, priorities, and thoughts become different, but so do our parents. It is important to stay moderate during the adjustment time you and your parents experience. It will help you avoid tension. In addition:

• Make sure you communicate and share your thoughts.
• Understand that you are changing a dynamic that had already become stable.

• Negotiate schedules and equal expectations. Rigidity and structure can be positive. Respect it.
• Remember, these are your parents, not your roommates.
• Reduce your level of irritability (if you have one) by remembering that your family is not responsible for the situation.
• Don’t just experience it as a “situation,” remember that everyone involved has their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
• Share family moments.
• Practice family conflict resolution skills. It will empower you in this reconstruction process.

Parent: my home, my rule?

When an adult child returns home after living alone, he or she returns home as a person accustomed to his or her own routines as well as a form of identification with the world that may be different from his or her childhood. Some changes are simple (like financial), but it is also important to adapt mentally.

While helping a child or family member is natural, there are some details to keep in mind right from the moment you know someone is moving back to you. The clearer the priorities, the better the new form of housing will work.

• Remember that the role of the child is different for all people.
• Negotiate and create daily chores and rules for living together.
• Communicate clearly with a child or family member. The fact that he may have experienced difficult times does not mean that you should be overprotective for a long time.
• Plan for the future and find out what all the parties think about this milestone a few days after the relocation.

• Don’t neglect your own needs and routines.
• Don’t just talk about independent time or personal crises. Create moments that bring spiritual rest.
• Reduce the explosive expression of emotions.

As you can see, repatriation is a process in which all parties involved must support and understand each other. With communication, understanding and affection, you avoid making something already complex even more difficult.