It’s Hard To Get Rid Of Old Ways: Stumbling On The Same Stone

“ I always make the same mistakes. “  “ Why does this always happen to me? “  “ I always promise myself that this was the last time, but I always give in to seductions. “  We have certainly all said or thought of something of the same type in certain situations in our lives.

Humans are beings with habits. Maybe some failure has become a habit for you and that’s why you’ve decided to pick up the stone you stumbled upon and carry it with you now, wherever you go.

If you already promised yourself that you would stop lying, why would you do so again? If you promised yourself that you would not return to your ex-partner after the last dispute, why did you run back into his arms a hundred times when he called and apologized? If your New Year’s resolution was to quit smoking, why march to the store to buy ascetic cigarettes a couple of days later?

“ I didn’t realize it. ”“ This time, really! ““ I completely have the thing. “These are one of the most common reactions to harmful habits. We are not happy to leave our comfort zone, because there we feel safe even when we are not happy. We seek refuge from the stone we stumble upon over and over again when we long for comfort or permanence.

Perhaps we imagine that we are in a big cage, and the situation includes all those restrictions and lack of freedom, but at the same time also the permanence that we so desperately need.

We don’t realize that when we stay in our cage, situations go past us one at a time. We wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, watch TV, take a shower and go to bed… This routine is basically the same for almost everyone. But at some point comes the moment when we have to say that we have had enough of it.

Life begins to repeat the same, identical moments, and we don’t even notice it. Our alarm bells only ring if something hurts us or otherwise makes us uncomfortable. That is when we think to ourselves that this has not happened before. It’s as if we are magnets that attract the same things over and over again. If only that thing was something good… but usually it is not so.

You’ve certainly been in a bad situation several times with the same person, the same action, the same idea, or the same job. Why is this happening? One psychological explanation relates to our early childhood education.

Ever since we were kids, we have been taught to do things by imitating others. We watched our parents brush their teeth and copied their movements. We watched our older siblings learn to ride a bike. We watched our teacher write letters on the chalkboard. In this way, we have probably also learned not to love, we have learned to shout and cry when we want something, we have learned to argue about everything, and so on.

Every interaction, whether with a person close or distant to us, shapes how we grow. There are various instructions in our minds about how things should be done, without questioning or thinking about it any further.

For this reason, two things in particular make us cling to the stone mentioned earlier. On the other hand, we are afraid to leave our comfort zone. On the other hand, we do things routinely because that is how we have been taught to do so.

To get rid of these habits, you should first understand that your life is not locked in a cage. After that, you can realize that the same thing can be done in a thousand different ways, and maybe the results can be much better.

Doing the same thing over and over again will not bring different results. Sometimes you need to change your approach.