Keep Your Head Up And Use Your Power

Use your power. Don’t let your head sink down. Don’t give up anything you don’t like, what you don’t want or what makes you angry. You have a voice with which you can speak, you have eyes that refuse to see life through the lenses of fear, and you have an essence that requires more space. So get up. Height has nothing to do with centimeters; it is more about courage, respect and determination.

The philosopher and author Montesquieu said that in  order to stop a person from abusing power, another power must step into the game. It’s as if we’re part of some kind of power game where we have to control and test each other.

Just as we should defeat each other, challenge each other and stop the other. The world we live in is not a peaceful place. We live in a society that has always loved hierarchy, and all the discrimination that comes with it.

This is indeed true. If we pause for a moment to look at the word “power” from a psychological perspective, we can find numerous studies that use these same terms. These terms always come to the fore:  authority, adaptation, fear, interdependence,  etc. In short, “B” forces its own will on “A”.

Power, and how to deploy it

Some time ago, this concept began to undergo interesting and inspiring changes. Today,  psychologists offer us a tool called “personal power”. Instead of forcibly controlling power games, differences, or another group, we have something completely new and different on offer.

We are now talking about  how to harness our power. This means strengthening ourselves to achieve our goals and at the same time creating a more equal society. But to do this, we must first harness our power, our self-confidence, and our potential. We must love ourselves unconditionally, and finally put our fears aside and believe in our own abilities.

Restore your power, learn how to say no

Now is the time to give power a new meaning. We need to see it as a kind of awakening and awareness of what we deserve, what we can do for ourselves, and just as importantly, what we can do for the world. Anthropologist William Ury has written an interesting book on the subject called  “The Power of Positive No” . Read it, and reflect.

There are many contexts where there are clear differences in power. They are places where one person exercises influence and subjugates other people based on social, economic, or gender differences.

Influence and fear

There is one thing that all these situations have in common. The person at the top of this pyramid of influence is used to getting everything he wants. In other words, the people around him and life have always said “yes” to each of his goals and whims.

William Ury tells us that people like this exercise their influence through fear. That is, if we want to use our own power, we just have to be brave enough to say “no”  whenever we feel like it or when it is necessary. This is actually self-evident. Let us set limits on the person who is always used to seeing a clear path towards what they want.

But there is another thing we need to consider. It is not enough that we say “no”. Nothing will change if only one bold voice decides to take this step alone. Large movements occur when many “ees” join together and raise their voices at the same time.

This is exactly what we can see with the #metoo movement. Many brave women took a bold step at some point, but no one wanted to listen to them, let alone believe them. But now the world is listening to them, and these women have joined forces to put fear aside and bring visibility to the abuse of power, which is not ok.

Power is within us, we just have to awaken it

It doesn’t matter if we are men or women, how old we are or what situation we are in. Power is within us, and we should use it. This inner impulse should give us the ability to find our place in this world: what we want ourselves, not what others want.

This power should be bright and creative. It should be like a flame illuminating our path in momentary darkness. And it should be powerful enough to comfort and guide other people.

The steps we need to follow to regain our power

Here are a few things we need to work on if we want to harness our power:

• Identity research. Defining our values. Awareness of what defines us and what we do not accept.
• Exploring our potential and abilities. Finding our limitations.
• Reflecting on our position in society,  what is happening around us and our role in different daily areas. Do we know what people expect from us and what we want to adapt to?
• Rebuilding areas of life we ​​don’t like. Learn how to make yourself the person you really want to be. Let us do this fearlessly, leaving behind prejudices and critical voices.

Lastly,  we definitely need to dedicate time and energy to working for our own personal growth. We must work to promote our self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-confidence…  Our power feeds our sense of security and awareness.

Only then will we refuse to let our decision ever again. Only then will we be part of this movement of respect and equality, building a world where people are more respectful of all its inhabitants.

Photos by  Hülya Özdemir.