People Who Care Stay
People go through intimate interpersonal circles that vary in proximity and type. The purpose of a human relationship can be to find important and meaningful information, a steady aid to personal development, or simply social well-being.
Think, for example, of a button on a shirt. It falls off the yarn that binds it to the fabric. Something similar happens in friendships, even though the threads that connect our hearts are more multifaceted and evolve according to our demands, needs, and expectations.
These losses almost invariably leave behind nostalgia, as if they were indisputable proof that we are no longer the people we were before. However, we should not let nostalgia fool us, because sometimes these human relationships become selfish reflections surrounded by cold light.
Hanging on to something that no longer works
Attachment is harmful when it obliges you to stay in a human relationship based on what it once was but no longer is. Or when a handful of good memories maintain a long-winded routine full of evaporated enchantment. A human relationship that has only become an illusion and creates conflicts does not deserve more time than what it has already received.
It is not that distance or problems reduce affection or quality in a human relationship. Nor does a routine that turns a relationship into a familiar pleasure do, but prevents you from really appreciating another person’s company that complements and improves your daily well-being.
Relationships deteriorate as one or both parties cease to take care of it. The process is accelerated by the awareness that paths are diverging. Unless you succumb to the spiritual blackmail you have received in the form of the myth of stability, your existence will be in change, and therefore your relationships will be as well.
If by insisting you insist on keeping something upright that has already run out in some way, you are just messing up your own feelings, as well as others. You spend your life hanging out, which is not the same thing as actually getting something out of it. You need something that will enrich you and your relationship.
We have been taught to hold on, not let go
To reformulate the words of an opinion-sharing Osho, sometimes learning is not possible until you free yourself from everything you have learned before. This doesn’t mean temporary stupidity or nonsense, it just means stopping trying to understand so you can start paying attention to things related to intellectual, social, and moral development.
In social psychology, the rule of similarity says that partners and friends who are more similar are more likely to form stable relationships. Only people who share your values can have a close relationship with you for a long time.
You need to find what you need. Don’t just settle for things that don’t hurt you, but don’t satisfy you either. Some people should leave so others can offer you their company. No drama, no trauma. Accept changes in human relationships into natural processes, like the habit of creating your skin.
This involves challenging the lessons you received about love: love is not restraint, it is about wanting to stay. With both your friends and your partner. Both the books you read and the work you dedicate your time to.
Sometimes you have to pay attention to your intuition. Let them stay with those who matter, and let them go who don’t offer anything, even if you’ve been with them for a long time, in a mask discomfort routine.
When you are wiser and no longer wounded, you will be able to ensure that growth happens alongside the people who really want to stay in your life. People with whom you can argue or disagree, but with whom you rarely need to walk on eggshells. And let them trust you, for you trust them in your life.
