Preserving Freedom In A Relationship
Can you really maintain your freedom in a relationship? It’s scary how easily relationships can take control of life, even between people who consciously try to avoid it. Most want to be free and not be in a relationship where they feel controlled, but on the other hand it is important to feel united. They are two sides of a coin that can be tricky to balance.
We have something in us that wants us to make connections with other people. It is not logical or physical; it is a spiritual need. The soul wants to be free, but also in a relationship.
Why do we start a controlling relationship?
At the heart of the problem is uncertainty and self-belief. If you need confirmation or approval from others, that’s a big problem because you give the other person too much power over yourself. You offer yourself to be controlled with a silver tray.
This kind of uncertainty develops in different ways. It usually begins in childhood, within the family, but there are also exceptions. It develops based on false beliefs, and grows at the same pace as the need for acceptance.
How does uncertainty develop?
We are not born as empty books waiting to be filled with the first pages. When we are born into this world, we already have lunches in life that include the basic components of a progressively evolving personality, a certain amount of intellectual potential, and tendencies and foresight.
Nor are we born without self-confidence. As babies, we had not the slightest tendency to question ourselves, our abilities, or our values. Children accept themselves exactly as they are at birth. The seed of uncertainty is sown as a result of certain conditions and people.
Parents are not perfect
In the upbringing of a child, mistakes have long-term consequences. It’s a part of life. Children need unconditional love and affection from their parents, and if a child does not get these things, the seed of uncertainty will begin to grow.
Some children lack the closeness and approval of one parent, even though they receive them from the other parent. Some are born in homes where both parents are unable to give their children much needed love and guidance.
They begin to accept a lack of love and guidance as normal dynamics. It is stored in the Normal Things folder and as an acceptable thing from parents, spouses, and people in general until they begin to reflect it on all of their own roles in life.
Children who receive support from their parents may also be insecure. When they become young, they experience a sense of rejection from their friends, and self-confidence in their own judgment may falter. They have no power over the opinions of others, but still take what is said to be true, which in turn undermines their self-confidence.
How can you maintain freedom in a relationship?
Before you can start a healthy relationship with another person, you need to do a little work. Change begins from within, and it is important to restore faith in oneself. This also includes freeing oneself from doubts about oneself.
When two people get along well, the relationship becomes stronger, closer, and more intimate. This means building a long-term relationship: growing together, and developing into a team where both help the other grow over time.
Unconditional love
Romantic relationships should be based on honest love and acceptance. When you try to control another, you force him to be a different person. Genuine and unconditional love includes a commitment to respect for another person’s freedom. In the same way as you always have the option to leave a relationship if it feels like the time has come.
Respectful communication
You should communicate with each other respectfully if you both want to maintain your honor. Disrespect is simply intolerable. If you and your partner are free, you will not accept disrespect from each other. In a game of balancing love, nothing justifies a lack of respect.
Accept each other’s difference
Accepting another difference is the key to freedom in a relationship. If you don’t accept them, a relationship is not based on love.
Learn from each other
You can learn things from each other because of your differences. The difference of opinion is the small price to pay for what both give to the relationship. Think of your differences as a way to help both grow. All partners can teach each other something.
Learning from someone else allows you to be cooperative and enjoy your freedom, instead of feeling like a prisoner.
Accept your partner’s freedom
It takes a lot of courage to accept your partner’s freedom, as the risk of losing is high. When you feel like you don’t deserve what you have, you should stick to what might lead to control, even if you yourself have become controlled in previous relationships.
The more you accept the second freedom, the more likely he is to stay by your side. If you want to be free, as must your partner, you must respect each other’s freedom to either choose or leave the other. Only by respecting and protecting freedom can you build a truly loving relationship.
