Tears I Didn’t Cry, Sadness I Ignored

Perhaps now, as adults, we are always looking for a lonely corner where we can let our tears flow, where we can let go of our voices and pain. In this way, we can find relief when we are alone and free ourselves from our burdens. Then we can move forward in the eyes of others completely unchanged.

However, some people not only avoid mental outbursts, but either because of their upbringing or their personality try not to feel at all. Being betrayed or forgotten, as well as sadness, are hidden under a happy mask, and another cheek has already been turned to the inner voice.

Suppression of emotions is the opposite of understanding emotions. He who hides is unwilling to understand the innate labyrinth of emotions that defines us as persons. Granting our fragility is also learning to be strong. It is knowledge against denial and weakness.

Suppression of emotions – a step into darkness

Suppression of emotions means control of emotions, passions, instincts, and impulses. It means hiding something not only from the rest of the world, but also from yourself. Why? Sometimes it’s hard to understand why this is, but psychologists talk about both the patterns created by education and upbringing and social, psychological, and even biological processes.

The opposite of emotional repression is emotional empathy. This includes involving others, intimacy, and empathy for others as well as ourselves. Emotional wisdom is the most necessary and most valuable wisdom we can have.

So why do we choose to silence our inner grief? Why is suppression of emotions sometimes more beneficial to us?

1. It is a defense mechanism.  If I do not react to your deception and wrongdoing, but instead decide to move on as soon as possible without stopping to think about how I feel, I can avoid feeling the pain you are causing and then this pain will not seem to affect me.
2. It is a way to protect ourselves. If I hide my grief and pain, I don’t look like a victim in the eyes of others. If I show my mental pain, it is about vulnerability and loss of control, and one that not everyone can accept or understand. 
3. Emotional indifference.  This may come as a surprise to you, but there are people who for some reason have not experienced suffering, a sense of failure, or disappointment. Think, for example, of the young people in our modern society. Many of them have grown up in a culture that meets all their needs and develops such a really low tolerance for everyday frustrations. If they face failure or loss, their feelings will probably be “overloaded” or simply “locked in”. In such situations, people simply choose either denial or spiritual help.

The tears you don’t cry today will turn into immeasurable gaps tomorrow. Unrecognized grief will transport you closer and closer to the edge of the abyss. This gap can be illness or trauma.

How should we face sorrow and disappointment?

We need to understand that joy does not include a guarantee of continuity. Accepting the moment, even in all its gray tones, is a good way to live a more whole and mentally balanced life, where grief is understood to be a part of our lives and growth.

Sometimes we have the ability to separate our inner reality from our external reality. What is causing this? We separate ourselves from our emotions and inner self by disguising ourselves as a mask of well-being. But then come the migraines, fatigue, and muscle aches we start treating with painkillers without knowing what these symptoms are all about.

These are symptoms of unhappiness, tears we did not cry when we should have, and grief we refused to acknowledge and deal with. These are the symptoms that have now taken us hostage.

Never leave tomorrow the tears you could cry today. Break your anger, cry out your resentment, and take responsibility for your failures instead of hiding them. Spiritual understanding is a way to let go, and that is a way we should practice every day.