Telling what bothers me: a matter of personal dignity

Self-esteem should always be higher than the fear or worry of not liking others or the fear that we are not what others expect us to be.

Acting with determination is part of having a good self-esteem.  It is a determined but respectful ability to strengthen oneself in the complex social contexts in which we live today. Furthermore, it is clear that we cannot act aggressively by demanding our own rights, just as if we were in the jungle. The key to this is balance, respect and knowing how .

The need to be liked by all

There is no greater source of stress and personal suffering than the need to be held by all  and to fit into the mold that others have made and offered to us. This is not a healthy way to act. The amount of personal exhaustion that results from this is enormous.

There is definitely a constant need for approval behind this type of tactic. It also means following the misconception that “ what others think of me is more important than my own opinion of myself .”

The first rule of self-esteem tells us that before others can accept us, we must first accept ourselves. Related to this is the need to be brave and open multiple nodes:

• A knot that binds you to people who don’t accept your way of feeling and seeing things.
• The courage to cut the thread that anchors you for the need and satisfaction of gaining approval. Dare to think for yourself and accept that others do not have to share your worldview or your way of understanding  happiness.
• Dare to break the knot of passivity and fear of other opinions.

How to express our feelings with determination

When something bothers us but we keep quiet, we create scars. If we swallow one irritant topic after another, we end up getting sick from our own poison. So if we choose to react at the last minute when we are fed anger and frustration, others will look at us confused when they become aware of all that we have allowed in all silence.

Determination is a compass of self-esteem. It is a voice that gives us value  and defends our rights. It is therefore essential to develop appropriate policies to integrate it into our own behavior:

Here are some basic guidelines:

• Enter verbs like “ I want ”, “ I like ”, “ I feel ” in your everyday language. Become aware of the movement or emotion that occurs each time you use them.
• If you experience a confusing situation, don’t ignore it. If something is bothering you and your worries make you anxious, try to figure it out at the moment.
• Recognize the positive aspects of other people. Give them confirmation of a behavior that enriches you and that you welcome, or as Kant would say, which is a manifestation of “universal work”.
• When you experience a situation that fills you with anger or  rage, start gasping for a little fresh air, breathe, and translate every sensation into words using appropriate expressions to your advantage, such as “ I’m upset because…”, “I feel offended because…”.
• Don’t reprimand too much or use irony or mitigation. Talk about your rights and needs, listen to others, and don’t be afraid to defend yourself. Respect yourself in the way you respect other people . Be smart, feel your worth.

Determined self-confidence is a weapon of intelligence and personal protection. When used wisely, it is the best possible energy to nourish our own self-esteem.