The Beauty Is That We Accept Ourselves

There is nothing more beautiful than accepting ourselves. There is no greater satisfaction than finding our values, strengths, and needs. Only then can we make the best decisions. Those decisions that help us feel free and be full of that special beauty that makes us unique and authentic.

Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us in his books that  we are at our most beautiful when we act according to our inner self. In this mode, we do not seek approval from others. Instead, only our own hearts and innermost selves make us valuable.

Despite this, many of us have not yet discovered or recognized our true value. This is like a strange spell. We value ourselves and accept ourselves only when others value us. We rely on others to offer us positive support with their words, remarks, and recognitions. If this doesn’t happen, or at least not very often, we may feel invisible. Our self-esteem begins to unravel from its seams.

Korean philosopher Byung-Chul Han says we “return” to the hell of similarity. In his book The Expulsion of the Other: Society, Perception, and Communication Today,  he urges the reader to reflect on this very idea. We are losing our ability to appreciate the uniqueness of each person, the things that set us apart from other people. Byung-Chul Han believes that we should be more concerned about our own identity than satisfying other people’s desires.

Self-acceptance: the skill of true charm

It takes time to accept ourselves. But then when we achieve it, everything changes. We leave behind the limitations of conventionalism, with all the boundaries that are in our hearts, minds, and bodies. All our worries that we will make others like us and that we will live up to their expectations will disappear.

When we reach the pinnacle of this personal development to which Maslow placed himself in realization, the world begins to look different. Our perspective becomes better and we achieve a sense of inner peace. In the eyes of other people, these features are as charming as they are attractive.

However, let us return to Byung-Chul Han’s theories: there is one thing that should be kept in mind. Sometimes we see ourselves as a fully realizing person because we have reached the level of development that society has defined for us. At some point, however, we find that we are not at the top of a mountain, but in a deep chasm.

Our consumer societies, and even our education systems, guide us toward materialistic success. This path has nothing to do with self-realization.

In order to truly accept ourselves, we need to conquer other areas as well. We are now talking about things like self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, the ability to achieve, and mental independence.

Three steps to self-acceptance

According to a study by Ulrich Orth and Ruth Yasemin Erol of the Freie Universität Berlin, people reach their highest level of self-esteem when they are old. To be a little more specific, most people reach their highest level of self-esteem at age 60. Why can’t we achieve it sooner? Why don’t we develop this important “flesh” of personal development when we are young?

This is due to many different factors. But above all that limits us and makes it difficult for us to accept ourselves is the need for change. This means the need to be proactive and work with our own self-esteem and self-realization. Here are three steps you can take to accomplish this.

1. Improving the definition style

Defining style is how we view our own accomplishments or failures. When we achieve something, is it because others helped us? Or that we worked hard ourselves? It is important to take the reins of our own lives into our own hands. To do this, we need to recognize our own values ​​and abilities.

2. We should only listen to our own inner voice

Our world is full of thousands of different voices. These voices come from our family, teachers, boss, colleagues, friends, partners, social media and even political and social gurus. Our world is full of people who are constantly giving instructions on how to live.

In the midst of all this noise is a sound that we often muffle, namely our own voice. Let us use our energy to calm the noise around us for a moment. Let us listen to ourselves, give ourselves attention, and be in tune with our needs.

3. Let our own passions shape our lives

If self-acceptance is important to us, let’s follow our own passions. We must not allow other voices to disturb us, we must not listen to what they would like us to do. Let us strive to connect with our identity, and let our preferences and true essence shape our lives. If we strive to live these principles on a daily basis, we can be happier. In addition to this, we get closer to realizing ourselves.

People who are brave enough to follow their own path, no matter what others think, seem most charming. This is because the most beautiful people are the ones who leave conventionalism behind to be authentic to themselves at every moment and in every circumstance.