Toxic Children: Adults Are Not The Only Ones
Children often rebel at home and do not want to listen or respect the rules. However, some children cause serious problems for their parents. Parents are discouraged and tired of children’s behavior. When the parent-child relationship deteriorates, it can be a “toxic child,” or also called a “tyrant”.
This will create a hostile atmosphere in the home. Parents start sweating as soon as they arrive home. They know that a demanding and hostile “tyrant” is waiting for them inside. A child trying to get them to do what he wants. The more parents try to control, the more defensive the child becomes.
How to identify a toxic child
It is important not to confuse toxic children with those who express age-specific behavior and rebellion. Some behaviors are better put to an end right from the start. After all, boundaries are necessary to prevent a child from growing into tyranny. In this sense, it is important to use flexible boundaries. Flexible, but sometimes you also have to be strict.
One attitude to which parents must set boundaries is defiance. This happens when children challenge their parents and try to get them involved in their aggressive and hostile play. Warning signs include breaking the rules, not following penalties and avoiding chores.
It is also important to consider the signs if a child is trying to dictate to one of their parents. If a child gets a rage when he or she is not allowed to watch TV or eat when he or she wants to, put an immediate end to this. Other warning signs that we must not ignore are picking, lack of empathy, low tolerance for frustration, and a tendency to try to manipulate others to get what they want.
Children become toxic due to poor upbringing. They are pampered and pampered. They have no boundaries, parents bend under blackmail and allow them to exercise power that they are not old enough or mature enough to handle. Children try to take power from their parents and win their independence. In such a tense situation, many parents fail because they are unable to deal with it. They give up and the situation goes from difficult to really complicated. They now need many times more energy.
The reason is often the parents
As harsh as it sounds, most often parents cause their children to be toxic. By pampering, being overprotective, setting no boundaries, trying to be their friends, and spending enough quality time with their children, parents can achieve devastating results.
There is a solution to all this. However, the solution is more complex than before. It requires intelligence and often professional help. This person can help parents restore boundaries and develop strategies for their application. Boundaries should be appropriate to the individual situation, taking into account the maturity of the child, and should be geared towards concrete behavior.
In this way, parents begin to create clear and consistent boundaries that cannot be questioned or ignored. It is important that you do not use rewards to encourage children to follow the rules. Instead, use social recognition to reinforce positive behavior.
By trying to take advantage of gifts or rewards with your teen, you may open the door to a whole new kind of manipulation. That way, he would only respect the rules if he had previously been promised some kind of payment. They need to learn that they don’t always have to have some outside motivation for their behavior. The advantage of good behavior is often that it can be implemented. Just like when you help someone and it makes you feel useful. That feeling is hard to explain, so it’s best for the child to experience it for themselves.
Undoubtedly, however, it is important to focus on positive and better communication with children who behave in this way. Good communication helps us understand the root causes of their attitude. Maybe they feel sad because we don’t spend time with them, and their behavior is a way to punish our absence. Let’s try to communicate with them and understand them… understanding is not the same thing as accepting.
When dealing with a toxic child, the most important thing is not to lose control. We may be so busy with our responsibilities and concerns that we ignore the needs of our children. They seek attention, care and quality time. When they behave badly to get our attention as a result of bad parenting, what do we do? We will punish them even more by arguing and blaming. Or we go to the other extreme and reinforce their behavior by giving them what they want.
We must not shy away from demanding (and also fascinating) challenges in raising a child. With love and patience, we are able to prevent the toxicity that so many children have due to excessive power. They want our power, but it is our job to keep it up, no matter how tired we are from work or how much we would like to avoid rage. These types of struggles determine what kind of quarrels we will have with them in the future when they become teenagers.
