Two Consequences For Shouting At Children

Reflecting on the consequences of shouting at our children can help us control ourselves and our impulses to do so. Analyzing where the shouting really comes from is the key to changing this behavior for the better. 

We all know how important it is to teach children to be respectful. So we must respect them. But often, in the moments when we are crushed for one reason or another, we cry out to our children. These situations make us feel guilty, frustrated, and just as if we were bad parents.

But not everyone notices the negative consequences of such behavior. In this article, we are going to talk about the two most dangerous consequences that affect children’s development.

1. Shouting at children can affect their self-esteem

Shouting conveys a message of impatience. When we are desperate, we tend to raise our voices and ask for things by shouting. But shouting at our children can convey a message that they are doing something wrong. Even if we do this because they will obey us, shouting will make the children feel that they are not meeting our expectations.

When this happens all the time, we give the wrong picture. Children may believe that whatever they do, they always do it wrong. They may also feel like we are never happy with them and nothing they do makes us happy. The feeling that they will never do anything right, and the feeling that they deserve a cry, will most likely remain a part of them for the rest of their lives.

The foundations of our children’s self-esteem come from outside. With love and acceptance, their role model must make them feel that they can do anything. This does not mean that we must fill them with false self-confidence. Sometimes it is necessary that they get frustrated. However, it is important that our expectations are appropriate for their age and knowledge. In addition, we need to understand that our children are not perfect.

Understanding our children

It’s really common for us to yell at our kids in the mornings when we’re in a hurry to take them to school. We cannot assume that children act as fast as we do. Their speed depends on their age and level of autonomy. Maybe they need help to be ready on time.

If we don’t give them enough time or ask them for something they can’t, it’s just normal that they won’t be able to complete the task. Then we end up shouting at them and making them feel like they can’t do it. The message they receive is that we do not love them because we consider them incapable.

We need to remember that our purpose is to help them until they are more independent. In this way, we encourage them to trust themselves. Over time, our children begin to function “properly”. They respect their parents, help at home and clean their rooms. But they don’t do that if they’re scared. Their actions are based on understanding their role and the belief that they can do anything for themselves.

2. Shouting teaches children the wrong way to deal with emotions

We need to have role models for our children. When we constantly cry out to them and lose our temper, this means that these situations make us lose control. We send them a message that we are unable to control ourselves. Children learn that shouting is the right way to respond to stress. They will embrace such an activity and are likely to repeat it in the future.

Therefore, it is our responsibility to learn how to deal with our feelings. Whether we feel fear, fatigue, or angry, we must learn to control ourselves in front of our children. Screaming at our children about stress only teaches them that it is a good enough reason to abuse others.

It’s not their fault we’re down or anxious every time they take a step forward. Even if this is difficult, it is important to encourage them to explore and find out who they really are. Our role is to be with them on their adventures. We also need to find out where our negative feelings are coming from.

Maybe we want them to act the way we want to, and not the way they really are. Maybe we’re afraid they might suffer or they’ll hurt themselves. Nonetheless, shouting at our children to protect them or to channel their actions is not a good idea.

Result

In this article, we talked to our children about the most negative effects of shouting. Given how harmful this behavior is, both parents need to learn to control their emotions. We can also learn effective ways to solve problems and face conflicts.

If you’ve ever yelled at your child, don’t punish yourself for it. Nobody’s perfect. It is only important that we change this behavior now that we know its serious consequences.