What Exactly Does Envy Mean?
We all know what envy is, the feeling we see every day. While it has negative connotations in most cases, it also has important functions. Psychology teaches us that emotions are not good or bad (outside of mental illness), but are simply either pleasant or unpleasant. In addition, they always have a role to play.
In general, envy manifests itself in unequal three-part relationships. This relationship consists of two people and one goal. When one of these has achieved this goal, and the other wants to achieve it but does not, there is inequality in their relationship. This is a feeling that includes social comparison.
Social comparison
We humans live in a complex society where social status affects our lives. It therefore makes sense, from an adaptive point of view, that we worry about our own social life. Social comparison arises at this stage, in an effort to be in a better position and to own better social resources.
Social comparison can occur in two ways. First, ascending , when we compare people who are, or who we find to be better than us. Or descending , comparing ourselves to those who are, or who we find to be worse than we are. Both of these have their own function and cause. But in terms of exploring jealousy, we are interested in an ascending comparison: we envy those who have something we want.
An ascending social comparison usually seeks to identify what separates us from a higher level person in order to be on the same level or better with him or her. This goal may vary depending on the content of the comparison and the person we are comparing ourselves to. For example, feelings of pride may be possible if we compare ourselves to someone close to us, and when it comes to something that is not so relevant to us.
Jealousy plays an essential role when we try to be equal to or better than the object of ascending comparison. Our motivation is to achieve a higher position for those extra social resources that improve our position than what the other person would offer us. To achieve this, envy can work in different ways. We’ll talk about them later.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is a painful social feeling that is the product of unequal relationships. As we have already mentioned, it has a relationship with comparison and self-assessment. That is why we can talk about it as a social measure. It allows us to calibrate our social status and work towards it in a way that we don’t like it.
Sometimes it’s an expression of open admiration (“I’m so Kade!”), Which makes this feeling a little vague. Hiding the feeling of jealousy is part of the social protocol, which fulfills two clear functions: first, it prevents the jealous person from revealing his lower social status, and second, it avoids threatening the person who is the object of envy.
The object of envy can refer to many different elements. It can contain material, but also personal qualities or recognition. It becomes the object of envy when person A does not have it but he wants it, and when he sees that person B has it. This desire most often comes from the desire to get over a lower or disadvantaged position. This means that we do not want this thing because of what it is, but because of what it represents.
So how do we react when we are jealous? At this stage, two types of jealous reaction and their consequences emerge. We will talk about this in the next section.
Types of envy
There are two main types of envy: benign envy and malignant envy (also known as the joy of harm). Benign envy occurs when a jealous person feels bad feelings when he sees the success of others, but does not wish them any harm. Such envy causes behavior that is directed directly at improving the position of the envious person. He can achieve this by pursuing an object of envy without interfering with the person he envies.
In malignant envy, in addition to the person wanting what the other person he envied has, he also wishes him something evil. There is no healing use here; the behavior of an envious person seeks to lower the object of envy, or even to reduce the position of the envied person by removing that object or property from his possession.
Both types of jealousy pursue the same thing. A jealous person wants an equal or better position than an enviable person has. With malignant envy, this position is achieved by lowering the position of the envied person. With benign envy, it is achieved by improving one’s own position. While this first is social in nature, we must not forget that the joy of harm is also a feeling present in our lives.
Here’s a question for everyone to consider: when you envy another person, what do you feel more, benign envy or joy of harm?
