When We Let Injustice Rule Because We Are Afraid Of Conflicts

Our daily lives are full of situations that can lead to conflict. You stand in line and suddenly someone comes up. Or trying to charge you too much at checkout for something you know will cost less. Or your supervisor will give you an impossible task because he is in a bad mood.

We all have the freedom to choose which of these conflicts we are responsible for. Sometimes we “respond to fire with fire” because it seems fair or acceptable. Sometimes we allow it to happen because it’s not worth it to waste energy on something so insignificant.

However, there are people who cannot make that choice. Or rather, they choose in advance that they will give up in all situations where they have to face another person. They not only escape disputes, but also claims for compensation, orders, or put an end to behavior that causes direct conflict. It is about something greater than fear. They experience a feeling of helplessness that goes beyond reasonableness.

Sometimes they are not even aware of their fear. They just say they prefer peace over strife. This happens if, for example, they work in a group and some members of the group do not do their part. These people also do their job just to avoid a dispute.

Conflict avoidance strategy

Avoiding conflict is a valid strategy as long as you avoid greater evil. If you know that other person is completely unyielding about something, it’s not worth making it a conflict. Or if there’s a rule you don’t like, but you’ve been warned that you can’t change it, it makes sense to let it be.

However, there are many other times when there is something more important in the game. Your rights, for example. Or your dignity, or the respect you deserve. In such cases, you will lose much more if you do not start a conflict but avoid it. 

Subconsciously, you know that injustice is happening, something is being done illegally, or a degrading act is tolerated. Even then, some people remain silent and try to continue as if nothing had happened.

The consequences are serious, but not just because an offensive act has taken place, but because it affects our mental balance. No matter how much someone tries to follow their own path without paying attention to the injustices against it, something inside him is rebelling.

This leads to frustration, intolerance, anxiety and even physical illness.

On the other hand, such an attitude nurtures perverted social relationships. Today you let it be, but tomorrow it won’t stop you. The abuser does not stop because no one objects.

Quite the opposite: he feels he has full power to continue in the normal way. Avoiding conflicts does not mean resolving them. It doesn’t even mean surviving them.

Learned avoidance

Avoidance, stooping, twisting… Such behaviors are most often learned and are ingrained in us. They make us mistakenly believe that self-control, repression, or silence are acceptable and even unwelcome answers.

But a child is not born by suppressing himself. The baby does nothing but suppress himself. The environment teaches him to do so, because after all, this way the environment has a better grip on the child.

Those who avoid conflicts will not receive greater peace in return. Instead, they “like” and “accumulate” conflicts. Usually their stocks fill up until the last drop breaks the dam.

At that time, quiet people explode and scare the people around them. Sometimes these long-arrested explosions have really serious consequences.

Being silent in the face of injustice only destroys your self-esteem. Without realizing it for yourself, you are feeding the idea that you are helpless. And every time something happens to you, you feel less capable of it.

You also cause damage to your body. Those who keep too many things inside are very likely to develop stomach upsets, ulcers, muscle problems, and autoimmune diseases.

Some conflicts should never be avoided. It is also not healthy to act like the other extreme and react aggressively to all small problems. There are ways to resolve, process, and resolve conflicts. Just as you learn to avoid them, you can also learn to control them. 

In fact, conflicts are positive because they help you grow, mature, and achieve independence. In addition, those who face conflicts are often happier and happier people.