You Say I’ve Changed, But You’re The Reason
Sometimes you also turn your gaze to the past and try to remember yourself as you were then . However, this is not always just a recollection of the good old days. Sometimes you try to remember what your own quality of character was then compared to how you feel and react to life now. Am I wiser and more considerate? Has My Smile Lost Its Innocence? Am I more cautious and less optimistic?
But in addition to the life situations that raise us, there are also people who make us change for good and evil. Sometimes we are in relationships that are far from building and nurturing us, and instead essentially create a basis for sadness, loneliness, and fear. And we don’t just mean intimate relationships now, let alone men or women who plot and are masters of emotional manipulation. We also mean family relationships; they are the ones who can really hurt and steal your childhood and happiness from you.
Our personality is not built with strong and solid walls; we are all vulnerable and vulnerable to our past experiences, disappointments or traumas, whether in childhood or adulthood . That is why we can change. This is because something deep inside us is breaking and we are still trying to stand with our backs straight behind our broken walls…
This must have happened to you, at least once. In the middle of a conversation, someone may have said in an irritated tone of voice, “ You’re just not like you used to be ,” “ You’ve been so fun to follow before,” or “You no longer have the same enthusiasm and sparkle as before”. What they don’t know is that it is they who may be responsible for that change in your character.
Relationships that do not support personal growth
There are certain kinds of relationships that slow down our progress on our journey to be mentally strong, confident, and happy people because we are constantly helping someone else to be it for us. Be it our partners, family members or even friends, there are people who are clearly to your detriment and who can change where you focus your life, your focus. Equally all, tender and loving relationships take the greatest toll on our feelings and can therefore make us change the most.
Have you ever asked yourself how these changes in your personality suddenly appear? Pay attention to the following events:
1. Changes in the registration of our own feelings
It is possible that in the past you described yourself as an emotionally open person. Maybe you were receptive, optimistic, happy. But then you had to experience one negative interaction too much, one where you got your criticism instead of recognition, and your character started to change.
You do not express your feelings, you hide them. Love is not loaded with dreams of hope, but instead with anxiety and uncertainty, and there is nothing more horrible than not knowing what to expect and then watching as the scales begin to tilt menacingly. We have invested thousands of dreams, hopes and efforts, but we only get grief as a return.
2. Exploitation of one’s own cognitive distortions
If you used to have a strong vision of yourself, when your self-esteem allowed you to expect great things from yourself, then your view is now completely blinded. You look in the mirror and you see a person who is frustrated and unable to detach himself from that vicious circle because that lack of self-esteem has turned into a feeling of inferiority.
3. Changes in self-perception
If I offer optimism, openness, love, and humility, but only receive resentment, ridicule, and criticism in return, then the first thing I realize is that the person who said they loved me doesn’t really love. Or at least in the way I expected from him.
After such an experience, it is very likely that a person will develop a negative perception of himself after making the wrong choice, becoming naively drawn into games, and investing his time in someone who did not deserve his efforts and feelings.
In the wake of this, I hate that other person too, but now I also have a negative perception of myself. This is much worse, because that tax of emotion makes us victims.
4. I have changed and I will move on
You have been disappointed and you have become hurt. You’ve probably encountered such people on your part because they can be found in all possible shapes and colors. However, when we know that something inside us has changed, it is important that we also consider the following perspectives :
- Maybe you’re not the person who enjoyed being open to life, you’re not as innocent and you know how much disappointment hurts. The first thing you should do is walk away from any situation that is causing you pain. Don’t be a victim ; go away.
- Accept your past, it’s part of you and you have to be responsible, accountable for it. You have suffered, you have been disappointed and you have tasted most of the aromas of sadness. What can you achieve by denying this? Take it for yourself, day after day, get rid of the pain and lighten your own burden.
- Your sorrow does not define you, you have accepted it and left it in the past. You are the gift of the present to yourself, you are “ here and now ”. The pain of your past lies in staying in the past, and you should learn from it and act more confidently in the future.
Have you changed? Perhaps. We are all changing. But you don’t allow yourself to be led along the path of grief or leave your dreams on the side of the road to dust. You love and you will love yourself more, you are the blacksmith of your own life and happiness, its designer and creator.
